Friday, April 16, 2010

Running Diary: Phillies Bus Trip

Upon walking into my Legal Environment of Business class one Tuesday afternoon, a cut-off half sheet of paper with the Phillies logo caught my eye. I picked up the paper and read the following: "The Accounting Society would like to offer accounting majors the chance to win tickets to the Phillies vs Nationals game on Wednesday, April 14th. The first 30 students to sign up online will get the chance to go." It then supplied the URL where you could sign up. I am not an accounting major. This trip was not meant for me. I immediately borrowed a friends laptop and signed up right then and there. Sorry, accounting majors are idiots for leaving those sheets lying around. I won a free ticket and free transportation to the game. Here is a running diary of the day up until the start of the game:

6:30am: I wake up and feel TERRIBLE. I've been sick more in the past few months than I was for all of high school (my transcript may say otherwise but I wasn't really sick, I skipped). Hope this clears up by tonight.

9:00am: JRoll to DL, no Werth tonight, no Ryan Zimmerman tonight, Kyle and Kendrick and Craig Stammen are pitching. Yay

5:00pm: I'm doing 15 minutes of my radio show because I like to hear myself talk.

5:20pm: I am the first to arrive for the bus trip. Even the bus is not here yet. People with Phillies gear start to arrive. I don't know any of them so I start to look for someone to buddy up with (BUDDAY!) for the trip. This is going to be a 5 hour friendship so I don't care whether or not I get them sick. I'm looking for someone with whom I can have an intellectual baseball discussion. This may be interesting.

5:25pm: More people arrive and we get on the bus. There's not many of us so I don't have a lot to pick from. I hear a kid behind me ask "Who's pitching tonight?" and someone else say, "Where has Brett Myers been?". Take me now, Lord.

5:28pm: I alert my girlfriend of the geniuses on board. Her advice: "Tell them Jimmy Rollins was traded and that's why he's not in the lineup." Too easy.

5:30pm: Bus should be leaving right now but it is not because we are waiting for some more people, all of which are reportedly girls. Chances are at least one of them has her sorority's symbols sewn on her purse.

5:35pm: I notice one of the girls on the bus has a rather old, faded Phillies hat. Maybe she isn't an idiot (don't worry Hannah, she had a unibrow).

5:36pm: Nope, she's an idiot.

5:50pm: The late girls show up, 20 minutes after we were supposed to leave. "Traffic will be bad anyways.", one says. YES! TRAFFIC IS BAD! THAT"S WHY WE WANT TO LEAVE ON TIME! This trip is not off the an auspicious start.

6:02pm: Driving through the backroads of Philly to avoid as much traffic as possible. Avoiding traffic often means travel through...uh...neighborhoods with...character. In such a neighborhood we see a man riding an ATV on the street, weaving in and out of ONCOMING traffic. It was like being in a DMX video.

6:40pm: We arrive at the stadium, get our tickets and head inside. I see my ticket says "foul pole seat". I find a spot at the drink rail behind home plate to stad. The people two feet in front of me paid close to $70 for their seats. I can stand in the ame place for free.

6:45p,m: You know you've been to a sports arena a lot when you start to recognize vendors. Tonight, I recognized 5. Cotton Candy Here Guy, The program guy from Ashburn Alley, two beer guys I clearly remembered (one of them vended for the IronPigs at one point), and a lady that sells ice cream at every philly sporting event. This lady's voice is shrill and unforgettable and she looks like a witch. "ICECREAM!" It haunts me.

6:55pm: I make the acquiantance of a man in his 50s who introduces himself as Billy Walnuts. He is already rather intoxicated. "Let me axe you a question," he says "With his helmet off, what cartoon character does Raul Yabanyez look like?....Jimmy the Cricket." Do all old people mispronounce names? I always thought my grandfather was the only one. (Pop has had some memorable ones, including Bobby Eh-Brew, Albert Poe-jules, and my personal favorite: Sebastian Telafero)

Be sure to check back tomorrow for my scouting report from tonight's Harrisburg Senators game, which will include an in-depth look at Stephen Strasburg.

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